In my blog adventures today, I came across this post by the CrazyBeautiful Dianne Sylvan thanks, once again, to Stacey. :) (I am seriously developing a blog crush on this girl.)
I am not going to repost what Dianne has to say as I think it's better to go see for yourself. Instead, here are her rules with my own commentary/experiences. I honestly think, though, that 9 out of 10 of these rules applies to all women and just those of us who have more fleshy areas. :)
1. You are not obligated to be thin, healthy, or pretty.
I am really glad she put this one first as I think it really is the first step in being comfortable with who you are. Even when I was at my lowest adult weight, I was still not thin and hated myself for it. Once I realized #1, I became a much, much happier person. She does go on to say in her post that people seem to assume skinny = healthy which most people know is not a given.
2. Don’t talk shit about your body.
This is really one of my biggest pet peeves and I hear it from all my female friends of any size. I admit I make jokes about my weight but they are truths that I make light of. For instance, I was talking with a friend about painted toe nails (yeah, I know) amd I said that I never paint my own, I let someone else do it for me because I have too much middle and it's not worth not being able to breathe. While kinda funny, it's true. :)
3. Don’t talk shit about other people’s bodies.
This is right up there with #2 for me. When someone says "That girl needs a sandwich," I think of a girl I used to work with who could not gain weight no matter what she did and it pained her to no end. She and I had a weird camaraderie because of this. Yeah, she only weighed 98 pounds but we had a lot of similar issues, just opposite ends of the same spectrum.
4. Wear clothes that fit.
For me, this isn't just about the sausage roll muffin tops but also the women that insist on wearing tents. I am guilty of the latter myself. I have a tendency to buy the largest size possible, even though it is way too big for me. I am seriously trying to work on this and making clothes that fit and flatter.
5. Demand better treatment from healthcare professionals.
When Hubbyman and I first moved to Georgia and found a doctor close by under his health plan, I made an appointment for one reason or another. As soon as the nurse practitioner walked in, she looked at me and asked if I would consider bariatric surgery. This is without knowing a single thing about me other than my name and the fact that I am a fat girl. Now, people who know me know I am *not* one for confrontation. I tend to laugh things off or just walk away. This, however, struck me the wrong way. I told her that she should get to know me before making ignorant and rude judgements and asked if this was the sort of treatment I could expect from the rest of the staff so I could look for another doctor's office before wasting my time. I am sure it is unrelated but she wasn't there anymore after my next few visits.
6. Find a way to move.
Regardless of size, it is necessary to move a little throughout the day. I have a tough time with this myself because I have a desk job and sedentary interests but I try to remember to do little things like parking a further way than I could in the parking ramp and taking the scenic route to lunch in the building.
7. Stand up for yourself.
I am actually pretty fortunate in that I don't encounter much size-hate in my day-to-day life but there is the occasional asshat out there who makes a comment. Most of the time, it is "well-meaning strangers" who have had bariatric surgery so think that because they are happier now that I MUST be unhappy with my current size. I usually just tell them that I hope that they can find their inner happiness regardless of what they look like because I already have and walk away.
8. Deal with your fat.
Wash it and treat it with love. Now that I live in the South, this is a little bit of a struggle for me because it is so fricking hot and I work with a bunch of Southern girls who are ALWAYS cold. Even though they keep the temperature in my building at work at 74-degrees, these girls still have their heaters running under their desks! I am constantly giving myself the smell test throughout the day and my fan runs almost non-stop.
9. There are worse things in the world than being fat.
What? You didn't know that? You poor, poor soul. It's true. Just watch the news.
10. Don’t expect to feel awesome about yourself every single day forever.
People can tell when I am feeling fabulous because I come to work dressed up with my hair styled and wearing make up. Most days, though, I couldn't give a fig so just wear something comfy and clean and not a stitch of make up or hair product. Of course, a huge part of *that* is my feelings toward being a member of the corporate soul-sucking world and nothing to do with my size. :)
I am not going to repost what Dianne has to say as I think it's better to go see for yourself. Instead, here are her rules with my own commentary/experiences. I honestly think, though, that 9 out of 10 of these rules applies to all women and just those of us who have more fleshy areas. :)
1. You are not obligated to be thin, healthy, or pretty.
I am really glad she put this one first as I think it really is the first step in being comfortable with who you are. Even when I was at my lowest adult weight, I was still not thin and hated myself for it. Once I realized #1, I became a much, much happier person. She does go on to say in her post that people seem to assume skinny = healthy which most people know is not a given.
2. Don’t talk shit about your body.
This is really one of my biggest pet peeves and I hear it from all my female friends of any size. I admit I make jokes about my weight but they are truths that I make light of. For instance, I was talking with a friend about painted toe nails (yeah, I know) amd I said that I never paint my own, I let someone else do it for me because I have too much middle and it's not worth not being able to breathe. While kinda funny, it's true. :)
3. Don’t talk shit about other people’s bodies.
This is right up there with #2 for me. When someone says "That girl needs a sandwich," I think of a girl I used to work with who could not gain weight no matter what she did and it pained her to no end. She and I had a weird camaraderie because of this. Yeah, she only weighed 98 pounds but we had a lot of similar issues, just opposite ends of the same spectrum.
4. Wear clothes that fit.
For me, this isn't just about the sausage roll muffin tops but also the women that insist on wearing tents. I am guilty of the latter myself. I have a tendency to buy the largest size possible, even though it is way too big for me. I am seriously trying to work on this and making clothes that fit and flatter.
5. Demand better treatment from healthcare professionals.
When Hubbyman and I first moved to Georgia and found a doctor close by under his health plan, I made an appointment for one reason or another. As soon as the nurse practitioner walked in, she looked at me and asked if I would consider bariatric surgery. This is without knowing a single thing about me other than my name and the fact that I am a fat girl. Now, people who know me know I am *not* one for confrontation. I tend to laugh things off or just walk away. This, however, struck me the wrong way. I told her that she should get to know me before making ignorant and rude judgements and asked if this was the sort of treatment I could expect from the rest of the staff so I could look for another doctor's office before wasting my time. I am sure it is unrelated but she wasn't there anymore after my next few visits.
6. Find a way to move.
Regardless of size, it is necessary to move a little throughout the day. I have a tough time with this myself because I have a desk job and sedentary interests but I try to remember to do little things like parking a further way than I could in the parking ramp and taking the scenic route to lunch in the building.
7. Stand up for yourself.
I am actually pretty fortunate in that I don't encounter much size-hate in my day-to-day life but there is the occasional asshat out there who makes a comment. Most of the time, it is "well-meaning strangers" who have had bariatric surgery so think that because they are happier now that I MUST be unhappy with my current size. I usually just tell them that I hope that they can find their inner happiness regardless of what they look like because I already have and walk away.
8. Deal with your fat.
Wash it and treat it with love. Now that I live in the South, this is a little bit of a struggle for me because it is so fricking hot and I work with a bunch of Southern girls who are ALWAYS cold. Even though they keep the temperature in my building at work at 74-degrees, these girls still have their heaters running under their desks! I am constantly giving myself the smell test throughout the day and my fan runs almost non-stop.
9. There are worse things in the world than being fat.
What? You didn't know that? You poor, poor soul. It's true. Just watch the news.
10. Don’t expect to feel awesome about yourself every single day forever.
People can tell when I am feeling fabulous because I come to work dressed up with my hair styled and wearing make up. Most days, though, I couldn't give a fig so just wear something comfy and clean and not a stitch of make up or hair product. Of course, a huge part of *that* is my feelings toward being a member of the corporate soul-sucking world and nothing to do with my size. :)
This is excellent - I kind of want to repost it. Definitely adding it to my body love page.
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